Hi! Can share a little about yourself and what you do?
My name is Elena and I am true “go-getter.” I’m a registered nurse, who decided to write a short novella at the same time as gaining my MBA status. Before that, I had a re-occurring role on the Showtime TV show, The L Word and landed an AT&T national commercial all while nursing at the hospital. I’ve traveled the world and written about it for online outlets like Huffington Post Canada, RESIDENT and BELLA NYC/LA Magazine. I often indulge in shoe shopping and can definitely throw a mean party!
Can you tell us about a significant heartbreak and how you recovered?
That’s actually how my novella, The Love List: A guide to getting who you want starts off. The breakup of my 10-year relationship. Since it was such a long and significant part of my life, I hibernated for 2 years and went back to school part time. I started to workout with the personal trainer that we used to share – that really shifted my energy inwards. I took the time to focus on me.
What are major red flags for you when you start dating someone new?
Emotional baggage that is not dealt with in a constructive way (i.e. moving far away, not going to therapy) is a definite red flag. Having obvious conflicting points of view on family, religion and general lifestyle are other red flags.
What are your favourite mood elevators to uplift and inspire you?
Music is always great; reading is another good one. Group activities, like watching a movie or working out can be fun. Travel – travel always inspires me and makes me think of life in a different way.
Do you stay friends with your ex? Unfollow or follow them on social media, etc?
I have not stayed friends with my ex. I think when you have been with someone for prominent growing up years its hard to see past that. Yet, now that it’s been 5 years since, I would be open to it.
I’ve blocked, and unblocked others before. While it helps alleviate the sting for a bit, the best way to deal with hurtful feelings is head on.
Any tips for our users on moving on from heartbreak?
- Stop pretending you are ok when you are not. Acknowledging your feelings will help you deal with them. Taking part in unhealthy behaviors (excessive drinking, drugs) will only temporarily numb the pain and it will not fix anything.
- Know what you want, or at least what you do not want. If the person in question cannot give you what you want or at least say they can’t (long term relationship or something else) respect yourself and move on. Don’t allow yourself to waste your time and be strung along as “friends”. Know that are not being honest with themselves and they don’t know what they want.
- Invest in yourself. Take the time to really find out who you are, your gifts and what makes you unique. Heartbreak opens your heart to new opportunities and adventures just waiting to be had.
Check out Elena’s website for travel tips, relationship advice and more.