Hi! Can share a little about yourself and what you do?
My name is Dr. Amie Harwick, MFT. I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I work in private practice in West Hollywood, CA with mostly individuals and couples. Since I specialize in sexuality, many of my clients come to me to either address sexuality related concerns, or want a sex-positive therapist who understand their unique experience in regards to their own sexual identity or behaviors. I am also the author of The New Sex Bible for Women and often am in the media as a mental health and sexuality expert.
Can you tell us about a significant heartbreak and how you recovered?
I think that at the time, I have viewed every heart break as significant. It never feels good to be let down by someone that you love and trust. Over time, I have learned to deal with the loss of a relationship better. There are a few great breakup books that I have re-read, I call on my friends for supportive time together, and I get involved in actives that take my mind off of myself and on something bigger, and in the scheme of the world, more important.
What are major red flags for you when you start dating someone new?
The red flags are when YOU feel compromised. A red flag for someone may be a selling point for another. The statement of one person’s trash is another person’s treasure clearly applies to relationships. Its less important what the other person does and more important for you to understand your own boundaries and limitations. When those are challenged, or crossed, take a step back and reevaluate.
What are your favorite mood elevators to uplift and inspire you?
Personally, I love hanging out with my cat. Sure, it makes me look like a crazy cat lady, but pets have a significant impact on mood. Caring for something else keeps your mind focused more outward and doing something rhythmic like petting your furry friend can actually become meditative. Other than my amazing cat, exercise and physical activity help to boost my mood due to the chemicals released in the brain from physical exertion, and the benefit is that you look and feel better afterwards.
Do you stay friends with your ex? Unfollow or follow them on social media, etc?
Every situation is different. Sometimes it can be helpful to take space from exposing yourself to that person if the breakup is painful. If the ex is acting disrespectfully, or even dangerous, I would say, yes, an unfollow would be necessary. Regarding friendship, as long as the person was not harmful and destructive, I would always be open to the possibility of being friendly in the future. Contrary to some beliefs, being friends with exes can be complicated and sometimes a boundary issue. Treat every situation and person based on their behavior and your boundaries.
Any tips for our users on moving on from heartbreak?
The two biggest things to remember when your heart feels shattered is SUPPORT and SELF CARE.
You can connect with Dr Amie Harwick at: Instagram @dramieharwick and on her website www.dramieharwick.com.