Hi! Can share a little about yourself and what you do?
Hey! My name’s Sophie King and I’m an artist, I mainly work in the medium of embroidery. I focus on expressing what it’s like to be a modern woman, my personal experiences and insights!
Can you tell us about a significant heartbreak and how you recovered?
The first time I was seriously in love with someone, happened to be the first time I got pretty badly screwed over, so it hurt a lot. I was a wreck of a person and thought I’d never get over it – but I did! I told myself there and then that I would never become so focused on someone that I lost myself in them, that I should come first no matter what. It’s hard when you’re experiencing being in love with someone for the first time, to not get completely carried away with your feelings for them, which can blind you but I learnt that it doesn’t matter how much you love someone, if they don’t respect you, it’s pointless. I spent a lot of time reflecting and came to the conclusion I wasn’t going to allow him to define my future outlook on relationships and love, that I was going to work on myself and become who I want to be, for myself only. Sometimes if I think about it, I still get upset but I get upset over what they did to me.
What are major red flags for you when you start dating someone new?
They’ve cheated on their exes, they party too much, they’re ambiguous about what they want (because although it’s acceptable to not be completely sure of someone when you first start dating, you should at least know what you’re looking for, whether that be a serious relationship or something casual), they show a lack of empathy, criticize others and are judgmental, shady about their life, possessive, lies about how much in contact they are with exes, keeps mentioning their exes or similarly gets very defensive about their past, calls their exes crazy, has a history of violence, prone to anger, even if not directed at you, trust me it will be one day.
What are your favorite mood elevators to uplift and inspire you?
I like writing and working on new art, seeing my friends and boyfriend, changing my look to feel more me, CATS, time alone.
Do you stay friends with your ex? Unfollow or follow them on social media, etc?
I think you can stay friends with your ex but you also have to respect the fact they will always be your ex, not just a friend. For example, although I’m on good terms with some of my exes, there are boundaries. I’m not about to call them up like I would my other friends and tell them intimate details about my life. Of course every situation is different and everyone has different levels of comfort in staying friends with exes which is why it’s so important to have a conversation early on with anyone you’re dating about your expectations. I have exes who disrespected me to the point of no return, that I don’t want to be friends with. Not because I’m not over it but because they’re not who I thought they were. It’s ok to unfollow them, never speak to them again, do what feels right to you and don’t feel pressure to put on a front of being friends.
Any tips for our users on moving on from heartbreak?
When you get heartbroken, it’s so hard not to focus on anything other than them and it’s easy to turn the blame around on yourself. You need to face your feelings and not ignore them but at the same time if you feel like you’re getting too overwhelmed to the point of not being able to function, take a break. Allow yourself to give your head breathing space and occupy your brain with something you’re passionate about. Actually doing something physical helps too, something you have to focus on 100%, like going to a theme park, pretty hard to think about your ex when you’re falling through the sky and scared shitless. The best way I’ve gotten over someone is to make something else in my life more important, replace the space in your heart and brain that was occupied by them and replace it with your interests, your friends, improving yourself as a person. Just know that one day you will be ok and that if someone has betrayed or mistreated you, IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.